For as long as I can remember I have always found the period from New Year to my birthday mid February difficult. I used to put in down to seasonal affective disorder with the lack of daylight being the cause. If this were true however, the effects should have started before January when the shorter daylight hours began. I think the fact that there are a number of family birthdays and Christmas to prepare for in November and December help to keep me focussed. There were things that had to done within a set period of time.
Now I am faced with having to motivate myself to do things without the pressure of time which I have always found difficult. At school I was the pupil that left their homework to the night before it was due especially if it was for a subject I didn’t like. My situation is also complicated by the fact that my CFS isn’t great at the moment. I am feeling tired a lot of time so my brain is on a go slow and everything feels like such a monumental effort.
I’m doing all I can to keep the house ticking over thereby removing any additional stress from David who is also finding things difficult at the moment. It is the first time in years that I feel that I am pulling my weight in our partnership and I don’t want to go back to being totally dependent again. It is for this reason that I am doing my utmost to keep my eating and exercise regimes going, even though it’s extra hard at the moment. I have my one-to-one yoga session on Wednesday morning which I am actually looking forward to.
I have decided to delay my medication changes until after my birthday as I don’t see the point of making an already difficult time worse. The fact that I have felt able to do this is huge, usually when I decide to do something and plan a date I stick to it regardless of whether it is advisable or not. My Slimming World consultant, Paula said on Friday that I have learned to be kinder to myself and I think this is the reason why I have been able to make progress long term.