When I am in one of my lows, I often reflect negatively on how my life has turned out. I find looking at pictures of myself when I was little very sad because I feel that that little girl had the potential to become anything she wanted.
While growing up children are always asked what they want to do when they’re older. For me it was to become a doctor and one of my biggest regrets is not having the confidence to go for it when I was younger. I chose to become a mother at the age of 19 and I certainly don’t regret it but it did mean that I had to put my career on hold. I stayed at home with my girls until both were at school. I then decided it was time for me to start my working life.
I’ve discussed what happened in my previous posts so I won’t go into it again. To cut a long story short my depression and inability to cope with stress led to me developing fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. At times I feel very defeated and ask myself over and over again; why couldn’t I cope? I am very lucky that David has a highly paid job so we don’t have any money worries but I hate the fact that I can’t contribute.
This week when I was feeling low I tried to imagine what my life would be like now if I had become doctor. I certainly would have a successful career but would I have been happy? If I had concentrated on becoming a doctor I probably wouldn’t have met my soulmate and had two beautiful children and I might have regretted it. When I realised this a lot of my feelings of regret disappeared.
Life is far too short to keep second guessing your decisions. There isn’t enough time to do everything so you just have to make the most of every day and do the best you can.