Month: April 2019

Autism

Autism and special interests……..

louiseissy

One of the aspects of autism that has characterised my life more than any other is that of special interests. To the neurotypical person these can often be seen as obsessions. As a young teenager these were often associated around people e.g. my history teacher, George Michael and Chris de Burgh. As an adult they have been more focussed around hobbies although a couple of people have crept in.

When in a special interest I find it difficult to think or talk about anything else. This may seem like a bad thing but I have achieved so much because of this. In the space of a couple of years I reached Grade 4 standard on the piano and only stopped because my teacher retired. I taught myself the art of reborning (making realistic baby dolls) and now I am able to sell my creations. My weight loss journey initially began as special interest but has now become a more normal part of my life.

My husband David is the same and we have learned together that we need to make time for our separate interests as they are an integral part of who we are. We have designated our Saturdays as hobby days; David will go off and do his machining and I will either do some reborning or watch documentaries on my current subject of interest which World War II at the moment.

The feelings attached to having a special interest can be really intense and can bring a lot of happiness. I often feel sorry that neurotypical people don’t get to have the same experience. If there is an upside to being on the spectrum then special interests is it.

Mathematics

The Joy of Mathematics……..

louiseissy

I want to try and move on from posting about my health for a while and return to topics that are a bit more cheerful.

I have always been fascinated by numbers and patterns. I can pick out a pattern very quickly and can get very OCD if a perceived pattern is disturbed. I loved mathematics at school and always excelled at the subject. Initially I studied both mathematics and further mathematics at A level but was forced to drop the latter due to the impact of my depression. I think if I’d continued it would have been a tough decision between mathematics and biology as to what to study at university.

Since leaving school I have done several online university level courses in mathematics just for fun. I have been rather neglectful of late but fully intend to get back to it. If I win the lottery I may even do an Open University degree in the subject.

I used to have an obsession with the number 3 after discovering that if the sum of the digits in a number are a multiple of 3 then the whole number is divisible by 3. I used to use a digital clock and the time as starting points to perform calculations involving the number 3 and I would challenge myself to do them before the clock changed. I also used to calculate powers of 3 in my head to ridiculous numbers. Thankfully I managed to stop these activities as they used to prevent me from sleeping.

I also had a fascination with the number pi after finding that the formula for pi was as follows:

Screenshot 2019-04-15 at 14.38.17

I decided to calculate this infinite series by hand to see if I could establish pi myself to set number of decimal points (I can’t remember how many). I spent an entire morning with a calculator and pad of paper. In the end I wrote a computer program to see just how many calculations I would have to do to achieve my aim. I worked out that if I did one calculation every 10 seconds it would have have taken me 212 years. Needless to say I gave up.

I think the reason I love numbers is that they are objective; there is a definite right and wrong and they’re the same everywhere regardless of where you are in the universe. In a world where I often struggle to make sense of things, mathematics is a constant friend.

Uncategorized

The final step……..

louiseissy

This is just a quick update. Today is day 15 free of opiate painkillers. All of the acute symptoms of withdrawal are now gone. I now only have a feeling of exhaustion and low mood. This part is more difficult to deal with as there is no definite timeline; it could last a few weeks to several months. It is very variable though and I have short periods where I feel a bit better.

I spoke to my doctor this morning and told him what I’d achieved and he was really pleased about my progress. I have been referred to a pain psychologist who will help me cope with my pain levels in a different way without medication. I also took my stash of meds to the pharmacy for disposal. I was never in any danger of relapsing but the act of disposal felt huge nonetheless.

So now I look to the future…

Fibromyalgia

The end of ‘rehab’ and looking forward…….

louiseissy

Today is day eight of my opiate withdrawal and I am proud to announce that I have made it. Many of the horrendous symptoms have now abated and I am feeling clearer headed already. I am however left with some nausea and insomnia -sleeping four hours at night. One of the more weird effects is my mood. I didn’t realise that opiate painkillers act on the brain in the same way as the neurotransmitter dopamine. Long term use of opiates causes the brain to make less dopamine as they are so much stronger. This means that at the moment the dopamine levels in my brain are below normal and this has resulted in my mood being very flat. I’m neither happy or sad, I just don’t feel anything. It’s worse first thing in the morning and I seem to feel a bit better as the day goes on. Fortunately my levels of dopamine should return to normal within about four months. For the first time I can definitely say and name what is wrong with my faulty brain!

Anyway on to the future. Now that I feel I have taken charge of my body I am feeling really optimistic even though my pain levels are quite high. Having a logistical, scientific mind is probably a hindrance to me here. I know a lot of people find that holistic therapies are of benefit in the treatment of chronic pain. I have tried acupuncture before but didn’t find it helpful . I do however find the relaxation part of yoga works well, especially after the workout. Some of the yoga chants seem a bit weird to me but they do focus the mind and the resonation in the chest feels good.

I am going to get a monthly pass to the local health spa so I can use their pool and jacuzzi as many times as I want. I wish we had room for a hot tub at home as I know it would be a great help to me. I remember the comedian, Jasper Carrott saying that all you needed at home was hot bath and a curry!

If I ever get well enough to work again I think I’d like to work as a teaching assistant. All the joys of working with the children without the red tape of being a teacher. With my musical ability I think I could really help to bring joy to a school. When I was at primary school we had a headteacher who was really musical and the concerts we put on were amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it since in any primary school. I must brush up on my guitar skills.