Today is day eight of my opiate withdrawal and I am proud to announce that I have made it. Many of the horrendous symptoms have now abated and I am feeling clearer headed already. I am however left with some nausea and insomnia -sleeping four hours at night. One of the more weird effects is my mood. I didn’t realise that opiate painkillers act on the brain in the same way as the neurotransmitter dopamine. Long term use of opiates causes the brain to make less dopamine as they are so much stronger. This means that at the moment the dopamine levels in my brain are below normal and this has resulted in my mood being very flat. I’m neither happy or sad, I just don’t feel anything. It’s worse first thing in the morning and I seem to feel a bit better as the day goes on. Fortunately my levels of dopamine should return to normal within about four months. For the first time I can definitely say and name what is wrong with my faulty brain!
Anyway on to the future. Now that I feel I have taken charge of my body I am feeling really optimistic even though my pain levels are quite high. Having a logistical, scientific mind is probably a hindrance to me here. I know a lot of people find that holistic therapies are of benefit in the treatment of chronic pain. I have tried acupuncture before but didn’t find it helpful . I do however find the relaxation part of yoga works well, especially after the workout. Some of the yoga chants seem a bit weird to me but they do focus the mind and the resonation in the chest feels good.
I am going to get a monthly pass to the local health spa so I can use their pool and jacuzzi as many times as I want. I wish we had room for a hot tub at home as I know it would be a great help to me. I remember the comedian, Jasper Carrott saying that all you needed at home was hot bath and a curry!
If I ever get well enough to work again I think I’d like to work as a teaching assistant. All the joys of working with the children without the red tape of being a teacher. With my musical ability I think I could really help to bring joy to a school. When I was at primary school we had a headteacher who was really musical and the concerts we put on were amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it since in any primary school. I must brush up on my guitar skills.
Love this! So positive. Well done on getting through this. I remember well the excellent primary school concerts and also the headteacher’s inspiring maths lessons! Your combination of science and music knowledge would be a great asset in a school.
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Thank you for your lovely comment. It has taken me over a decade to reach this point, I wish it hadn’t taken me so long x
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